The Asian Rake

This is actually some kind of staring contest. But forget that, and use it to practice maintaining eye contact and sexual state projection. See my post on How to Project a Sexual Vibe.

So here’s this very useful (no, not in that way) youtube vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmzcKXsllWs

I pasted the whole web address for you fellas in China who have to use an unblock proxy

Cheers, The Asian Rake

I’ve been delinquent with the updates as not only have I been instructing on a weekend bootcamp, including instruction on Saturday until the wee wee hours of the morning (we aren’t kidding when we say we put our clients first), but I’ve also been visiting my little sister who lives here in the Big Apple.

I just spent a very pleasant evening with her and her friends watching the New York Philharmonic and Lang Lang (the 26 yo. Chinese genius pianist) rock it on the Lawn in Central Park for a couple of hours, finishing everything off after the encore with a spectacular fireworks show! At first, New York kind of weighs on you with the constant smell of garbage on the sidewalks, the overpoweringly tall buildings casting long shadows over the narrow streets, the wave after wave of fast-walking pedestrians battling it out for space on the sidewalks with construction sites, dogs, and hotdog vendors. But after a while, you get used to all that (again), and your senses are dulled to those distractions, enabling you to take in the many many things that make New York a world-class city like no other. Of course, it helps if you’re listening to a live performance by Lang Lang and the NY Philharmonic while lying on the grass sipping wine by candlelight, surrounded by hundred year old trees.

But before I get completely distracted by reminiscences of delightful evenings in New York, let me get to my original point.

This weekend was my first time actually going out on the town with Nick Sparks. And I do have to say, he lives up to the hype. Out of all the PUAs and gurus I’ve ever met in person or seen on any product, Nick surpasses them all with his quick wit, infectious humor, and amazingly feel good vibe. I’m not kidding. I have never before witnessed such frame control via humor and wit. How do you make a girl scowl, laugh, punch you, hug you, and kiss you, all within the first minute of meeting? Ask Nick Sparks.

Even I learned a thing or two while watching him attract girls left and right with effortless ease. Any client who signs up with him will get far more than his money’s worth. Check him out here: http://www.thesocialman.com/people/nick.php

And then of course, I had the greatly cherished opportunity to once again learn from the man who started me on this whole journey, the doyen of The Social Man, the leader who manages such crazy personalities as myself, Nick, Stephen Nash, DJ, and many many others. And the man who has seen it all.

We often talk on skype from opposite sides of the globe. But we rarely have the chance to go out together. So this was a rare joy to see just how completely versatile this man can be, perhaps with the most well-rounded, balanced game of them all. He can surpass you on your routine stacks and canned material. But he prefers to go “natural,” in the moment, in the flow. He can dominate on the NYC sidewalks during the day or in the loudest, most intense clubs in the world at night, going indirect or direct, pumping buying temperature through playful teasing and push-pull, and then shifting instantaneously into a deep emotional connection with a hot girl while talking with her about particle physics (no, really; I saw this happen on Friday night!). I also had the pleasure of watching Christian pull a tall cutie in Kiss and Fly, one of the hottest clubs in New York, onto the dance floor and make out with her after ten minutes of meeting. If you don’t yet know who Christian Hudson is, … where in the world have you been? Check him out here: http://www.thesocialman.com/people/christian.php

You improve when you hang out with other guys who are just as good, if not better, than you. Iron sharpens iron.

I think it would be very dangerous if all three of us actually lived in the same city.

Lots of great updates coming soon…

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.

Last weekend, I hung out with Adam Lyons (aka., AFCAdam) and his sexy girlfriend, Amanda, in Toronto. Going out in TO is a nice change for me because usually when I’m in Toronto, my schedule is packed visiting family and catching up with old friends.

Btw, there is still a spot available on the July 11-13 Special Bootcamp held in NYC by The Social Man. I’ll be coaching along with Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks. This is sure to be a life-changing event. And there’s a full 100% money-back guarantee, so you’ve gotten nothing to lose! Check it out!

Adam and Amanda are definitely a cool couple. Sure, they’ve got “game,” but what I like most about them is that they’re really friendly and interesting people. They’re the sort of easy-going people that I’d be happy to invite to a party at my pad or to introduce to my colleagues, my boss, my parents, my grandparents, and heck, even my three-year old nephew!

Now you may not think that’s a big deal, but if you’ve been involved in the “pick-up community” (ugh, I hate that term) for any length of time, you’ll know that the vast majority of community guys, and even the best teachers and gurus, are just, well, kinda creepy, dress weirdly, and lack the ability to relate to normal people.

And I think it’s especially cool that Amanda is there to provide the female perspective. In a couple of my weekend workshops in China, I brought along my main Beijing girl, a 21 year old 5’9” actress and model, for the fashion consultation, some of the exercises on Saturday, and the in-field portions. She was particularly integral on the in-field portions. I really think it’s important for guys to hear a woman’s honest perspective on their image and impressions. A really crucial part of mastering the social arts is being able to understand the inner world of hot women.

To my bros back in Beijing: Adam kind of looks like a white, thinner version of Natural-MD. They dress, laugh, stand, and carry themselves in a similar way, though I can’t imagine two more different styles of interacting with women.

One of the original contributions Adam has made is about dance floor game and how the best way to think of it is in terms of compliance, investment, commitment, or “making the girl work for you.” It’s brilliant and the first time I’ve ever heard anyone in the community talk about dance floor game this way.

It’s similar to the insight I developed about Karaoke game in Asia, which I mention in this LR here and about which most guys seem to have completely missed the point. The brilliance is NOT that you take her to Karaoke to show off your “great” singing skills or even just to have a fun time. The insight is that you make her sing FOR you. If you’re doing much singing, then you’re missing the point. She’s got to invest in you by singing and performing for you! Do that, and you’re golden.

Of course, Adam was awesome at social proof, his calling card. Right at the start of the night, Adam had the bar staff in the palm of his hand, getting laughs and smiles from everyone, but not in that cocky-funny way or slimy hypnotic way. He was just being super friendly and funny.

For Adam, to game the hottest girl in the venue, first win over the venue, and then approach the 10, making it just soo much easier. Uh, yeah, Asian Rake, brilliant. If it were that easy… LOL. I’ll get into how to do this in my next post.

Adam’s settling down in America with Amanda for a while, and they’ll be doing a bunch of bootcamps around the country. So I’m sure you’ll see more of them. They’re still ironing out a few kinks in their bootcamp curriculum and format, but I’m sure they’ll be going strong soon.

It was really cool chatting with Adam about entourage game, as it’s something that I didn’t pay much attention to while in Beijing until I almost left. It’s also something that very few PUAs or “gurus” know much about simply because most coaches travel out of town almost every weekend and hence, have few opportunities to build a really big and solid social circle. Adam garnered a reputation for rolling into clubs with 20-40 girls and just a few guys, causing club owners to compete for his patronage and eventually creating another line of work for himself as a promoter.

Lately, I’ve been learning directly from some of the very best guys in the community at entourage and social circle game, as it’s become the next little challenge I’ve set for myself. So it was really cool to hear from the A2 team on this.

I’ve also been drawing from the fecund genius of Christian Hudson, who maintains the highest-class social circles I’ve seen in the community today, including top supermodels, cover girls, beauty pageant winners, and even the occasional girl next door Check him out at The Social Man.

A well-kept secret and definitive authority on VIP game, who contributes to the community whenever he can spare the time from managing his harem of girls and his extensive entourage of bikini models and Californian blondes, is Alex Chase, a former club promoter and just a super cool Korean-American chilling out on the beaches of San Diego. He’s working on some great products on VIP and entourage game that will truly take things to the next level.

I’ll be posting some Toronto field reports soon, so check back in a couple of days

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.

P.S. I cropped myself out of that photo with Adam and Amanda, but you can catch a glimpse of my right forehead. I think I was standing on a stair because I look higher than Amanda, but she’s at least a couple of inches taller than me. LOL

Back in Canada… on July 4th, which is kind of strange since I’m missing all the parties down south. But hey, Canada’s got a great party scene with younger girls. The drinking age here is 19 (or 18 in some provinces). It’s been cool hanging with my buddy, Social Alchemist, who used to coach for Asian Playboy and Natural Seduction.com.

In most North American cities, alcohol can’t be sold after 2am!!! What a travesty! What kind of continent is this, anyway? I know there are exceptions, though, like NYC, and I’m looking forward to getting out there this weekend.

This 2 am closing thing totally threw off my timing. When an Italian cutie approaches you at 1:30am with super high buying temperature, showing you her thong and the tattoo on her ass and then flashes you the thong of her blonde friend, my North America self would’ve thought, “Time to isolate!” But I’m still in transition between my Asia self and my North America self, and I thought, “Well, the night is young. I’ve still got a couple of hours…” Haha, then the bar closes and the lights go up. WTF! I’ve already had a few weekends in North America, but I’m still not over the shock of having to leave so early.

In Asia, the clubs keep serving liquor until the last customer leaves, which is usually around 5 or 6 in the morning. Ah, I miss Asia already… fun times, fun times…

Been doing a ton of traveling lately, which is par for the course whenever I’m back West. I’m currently in Michigan for a few days, so here’s a shout-out to my mid-West peeps

Had an awesome time hanging out with Adam Lyons (AFCAdam) and his GF, Amanda, over the past weekend in Toronto. They’re a cool and fun couple. More on that in a later post.

Also, a brief reminder that there are a couple of spots left on The Social Man’s Spark of Attraction bootcamp in New York on July 11-13. It’s an awesome deal as you get all three consultants working on you all weekend long.

I’ve been getting quite a few requests for more lay reports (LRs) and asking about my policy on LRs, which I’ve hinted at. So here it is.

1. I think LRs are good if they’re educational. But the vast majority of LRs I’ve seen, including some by very well known pickup “gurus,” are basically brag reports that say very little beyond: I met her, said some witty things, she liked me, I took her here and here and here, and we had sex, aren’t I awesome?

As you can tell from the great lengths of my LRs, I go into considerable detail, and even then I still leave out quite a lot that we said and did. Often, it took me longer to write the LRs than it did to actually lay the girl! I also make sure I chart what I was thinking and feeling during the key moments to give you a sense of my internally-driven game.

So if you cannot write an LR that is educational and detailed, then it’s better that you don’t write one at all. So until I get the time to write a substantial LR, I will hold off on writing more.

Plus, after a while, they get very repetitive. I had a standard day 2 that I ran on a bunch of girls in a row. I was basically doing the exact same things, so there’s not much point in reporting on all of them.

2. I have the utmost respect for every single girl who sleeps with me. I do not wish to disrespect them in any way.

In the past, I’ve been in the uncomfortable and unfortunate situation of having one of my girls with me at a bar and then some fan or lair guy asks me, “Hey, is that HB[whatever]? Man, she’s got a great ass” (or something to that effect). The last thing I want is to have some creep eyeing one of my girls and knowing all these intimate details about her personal life and how I seduced her. That’s just not fair to the girls.

So my new policy is: If I still see this girl in any capacity–as a friend, a fuck-buddy, or a long-term relationship–I will not write a lay report about her.

Those who know me also know that I guard my time carefully. So I simply do not invest more than an hour in a girl unless I plan to see her regularly in the future. Why waste all those hours you’ve invested into attracting and seducing her on a one-night stand? Like Style said, I prefer ten-night stands.

I do, however, get the occasional ONS with little effort, like last weekend, so maybe I’ll write up a couple of those. I’ll see. I’ve already got a long backlog of important articles coming up, but keep your eyes peeled for an LR or two very soon.

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.

An earlier version of this article appears in Day 11 of the 31 Day Program sponsored by The Seduction Bible. Here’s shout out to Bobby for motivating me to finish the piece. Check out the other articles while you’re at it, especially Day 6

Also, brief reminder that there are still a couple of spots left for the July 11-13 The Social Man bootcamp in NYC. You’ll be spoiled by the riches of having both Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks, as well as myself, giving you personalized coaching! Get in on it while you still can.

Do You Want Faster and More Powerful Seductions? How the 80/20 Principle applies to Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny

We’ve all heard about the 80/20 principle first developed by Vilfredo Pareto in the context of the distribution of income and wealth. My experience and observations have shown that the 80/20 rule applies just as well to push-pull and cocky-funny.

After closely observing naturals who are masters at crazily rapid escalations and seductions, and after a lot of discussions with PUAs who have really tight game, I’ve discovered an important enhancement to the simplistic push-pull and cocky-funny concepts. This small bit of fine-tuning can shave a lot of time off your seductions and create much stronger, closer emotional connections.

Here’s my thesis statement (yes, I’m an academic, lol): If you want to seduce a woman faster and have her more powerfully attracted to you, the optimal mix for a man who already has his fundamentals down (his body language, tonality, and basic inner game) and is interacting with a confident and attractive woman is 80% pull, 20% push.

I’m not going to be too strict about the numbers. But more accurately, the optimal combination depends on how good the man’s fundamentals are and how confident the woman is. It’s a continuum with the upper end of the continuum being 80-20 pull-push.

My experience has also been that pull-push is best mixed with humor. Plus, the pull and the push are opposite manifestations of cockiness. With push, you are cocky enough to think that you are too good for the girl, so you push her away. With pull, you are cocky enough to think that you are irresistible to her and to women in general, and you want her, so you pull her in.

Although there is plenty to say about this combination of push-pull and cocky-funny, I’ll leave that to another article. My focus here is on the 80/20 principle applied to the push-pull dynamic. I’ll assume here that it’s obvious that push-pull is closely connected to cocky-funny.

For the classic book on push-pull, see Swingcat’s ebook, Real World Seduction. For cocky-funny, the best authority is David DeAngelo. Check out his ebook, Double Your Dating, and his DVD series, Cocky Comedy. I assume at least familiarity with push-pull and cocky-funny as described in these resources. Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks over at The Social Man are about to release a product that incorporates all the concepts in Swingcat and David D.’s books and then takes it all to another level. Watch at their site for the release. We’re good friends, so I’m a little biased, but you can go over there and check it out for yourself: http://www.thesocialman.com/index-new.php

What I say here is NOT for absolute newbies, who don’t yet have their fundamentals down (body language, tonality, and basic inner game). If you still don’t know what good BL&T looks, sounds, and feels like, stop reading this and figure that out first.

My point here applies to elite game. It’s for guys who want to know what it’s like to live in the top 10%, or higher, of men in this world. That’s not to say this is advanced. It’s just not for beginners.

A quickie definition of push-pull straight from the pen of Swingcat: “Push-Pull is whenever you emotionally push a woman away from you and, then, emotionally pull her back in. Each Push creates an emotional space for each Pull.” We’ll be filling this out as we go along.

Now let’s unpack the thesis statement.

While you can succeed using almost any combination of push and pull (e.g., 80% push-20% pull, 50% push-50% pull), the combination that will generate the fastest seductions and most powerful connections is 80-20 pull-push or in other words, 80% pull-20% push. This is true only if the following also hold:

a. The man has good fundamentals (good body language, tonality, tight inner game and is hence non-needy, etc.). This also applies if he is physically attractive or is perceived by the woman to have high social value.
b. The woman is unusually attractive in the man’s eyes, and she is confident about her value and attractiveness. This relates to Believability. She needs to be able to be confident enough in her self-worth to accept your advances.

If both those elements are in place, then the fastest and most powerful route to sex is a mix of 80% pull-20% push.

[CAVEAT: If the man only has average fundamentals and the woman is only of average confidence in her own attractiveness and value, then the optimal mix is further down the continuum and closer to 50-50 push-pull.

This is because pulling a woman closer to you emotionally is only effective when you already have a basic level of attraction from the woman. Of course, we all know that this kind of attraction is largely independent of one’s physical appearance. Over 90% of this kind of attraction is attributable to body language and tonality alone. That’s why I call these the fundamentals. Your attitude and outlook are also crucial to pulling off the right BL&T, so I include inner game as a factor for the sake of completeness.]

Pushing a woman away is effective when a woman looks at you and doesn’t expect you to be cocky. It throws her off and is hence funny.

It’s like when a precocious child talks like an adult, using mature and sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structure, etc. It’s unexpected and incongruent with the kid’s image, and hence, kind of funny, and if done right, it’s admirable.

Now imagine a 50 year old, sophisticated-looking man talking the same way. It’s not funny anymore. It’s just normal and expected.

Similarly, when a below average looking guy uses a lot of push cocky-funny, talking as if he’s too good for her and using humorous sarcasm, it’s attractive because the woman begins to wonder, “How can this guy be so cocky? He must have something going for him that I can’t see yet. I’m interested.” And because it’s done in a comedic way, she’s not offended, but rather, intrigued.

Now if a guy who has his fundamentals down (good BL&T), a good-looking guy, or a guy perceived to have high value starts to push her away emotionally, she’s not intrigued. Why? Because it’s obvious why this guy is so cocky. He’s good-looking, high-value, or has an attractive personality. It’s not funny anymore because it’s expected and congruent with his image. He just comes across cocky. For a guy like this to use cocky-funny, he has to really emphasize the humor and really cut down on the cocky part.

Most people overlook the fact that David D. himself acknowledged this in one of his newsletters:

“If you’re a pretty good looking guy, you might turn down the cocky, and turn up the funny. Women perceive good-looking guys who act cocky as MAJOR PLAYERS, and too much cocky too soon can backfire on you.”

More accurately, this isn’t just true for guys who are good-looking. If your fundamentals are strong, or you’re perceived as high-value, then it applies just as well to you.

It’s the push dynamic that makes these high-value or good-looking guys come across as too unattainable. For guys like this, it’s best to use the pull dynamic more often and save the push dynamic for that 20% of dramatic contrast.

And obviously, when a guy with good fundamentals, attractive appearance, or high social value is perceived as a “major player,” it is very bad for his Believability.

You can do it the opposite way, of course. You can do mainly push and just a little pull, like 80% push and 20% pull. Or you can be very cocky and only a little funny. Sure, you can get success that way, too.

But for the most part, if your fundamentals are already strong, then:
1) You can get much faster seductions by pulling her in more often than you can by pushing her away.
2) You can get the girl to feel a deeper emotional bond with you by pulling more often than pushing.

Here’s why:

1. If your fundamentals are good, then you will be a relatively DOMINANT, powerful, and confident man. Hence, girls (and most people in general) will naturally feel like following your lead. So when you tell a girl to sit down, she will feel a strong social and emotional pull to sit down. When you’re emotionally pulling a girl in by telling her to kiss you, she will have to work extra hard to resist. Most girls like a strong, dominant, powerful, confident guy, and many girls have the fantasy of “being taken” by such a man. Any resistance they give to such a man is just token.

Thus, if you already have good fundamentals (BL&T and basic inner game), and you want to shave massive amounts of time off your seductions, you’re better off pulling the girl in more frequently than pushing her away because the chances are good she will give in more often than not.

Ah, but Asian Rake, when you push a girl away, doesn’t she want to pull you in? Isn’t that the whole point of pushing her away? So you can get her to chase you?

Yes, to a certain extent, this is true. That’s why you SHOULD STILL PUSH. That’s the all-important 20%. In fact, by pulling most of the time, when you do finally push her away, it’ll feel that much more powerful to her.

If you’re a dominant guy, girls will feel pressure to follow your orders, and unless she’s very dominant herself, chances are good that she will NOT pull you in return every time you push her away. Chances are good that if you are a dominant man, when you push her further away, she will follow your lead and remain further away.

Assuming the pushes and pulls are of about equal emotional intensity (that’s one variable I’m leaving out here), if you PULL more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re dominant, she’ll follow your lead and move closer to you emotionally and physically. If you PUSH more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re a dominant guy, she’ll follow your lead and move further away from you emotionally and physically.

Sure you can generate attraction with most combinations of push-pull. But what’s faster to sex? When she’s emotionally and physically closer to you, or when she’s emotionally and physically farther from you? It should be obvious.

This is how the best naturals I’ve seen get bathroom lays in less than 15 minutes.

It’s pull-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull to the bathroom.

2. By pulling more often than pushing, you can also create the deep emotional connections much faster.

If you’re continually pushing her away emotionally, however, how can she possibly feel an emotional connection? This should be obvious. A far more efficient way to develop emotional connections is to pull her in emotionally.

One very effective kind of pull technique is in conjunction with screening and qualifying. If your Believability game is good, then every qualification is actually a pull.

For instance, “Wow, you are really adventurous, I like that,” said in response to her little adventure story, is a great example of a pull.

When you stack enough of these, she’ll feel like you really appreciate her for her unique qualities. She’ll be saying to herself, “Wow, this guy really, truly, sincerely likes me for my special qualities.” And of course, she’ll want to open herself up and continue connecting with you.

Btw, this is also a key technique for creating the kind of emotional connections that will get girls to fall in love with you FAST. There are others, of course, like sharing secrets and using childhood regression, but this is one of the easiest to do.

Now let’s add the COCKY-FUNNY into the mix.

What exactly do I mean by Push Cocky-Funny vs. Pull Cocky-Funny?

Once again, probably the best way to illustrate what I mean is through examples.

PUSH COCKY-FUNNY

The prime proponent of this is David D. Let’s first talk about the internal mindset behind Push Cocky-Funny. David D. helpfully lays it all out in his Double Your Dating:

“I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can reject her again.”

You notice that with this mindset, you’ll be pushing her away a lot more than you’ll be pulling her in. David D. follows this up with some now classic examples:

“I do crazy things, like if I’m standing next to a girl at a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious voice, “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look them right in the eye.

“Or say, “What are you doing at a bar for godsakes? Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?” All with a completely straight face.”

I could go on forever, but you’re better off reading his ebook or watching his DVD series Cocky Comedy. Wow, I never thought I’d be plugging David D.’s materials, as if he needs to sell any more. LOL.

When most guys think “cocky-funny,” they’re thinking this kind of cocky-funny, which is what I call, “Push Cocky-Funny.”

PULL COCKY-FUNNY

This is my default style of cocky-funny, so I’ll give you one of my own examples.

I learned from a natural friend that this sort of thing is best done when you’re a bit over the top or dramatically exaggerated in what you say and in your facial expressions, tonality, and body language.

This took place near the coat check of a huge nightclub, which is just about the only place in the club where you can talk without speaking right into her ear. A super cute, long-haired beauty walks by, and I jump in front of her with my hands slightly extended in front of my chest in a “stopping” motion with my palms out.

ME: OMG! (Then, with a sigh and a love-sick puppy dog look, I say after lowering my hands) I’m in love with you… Give me your number. (Pull #1)

HB (shocked): Huh? Are you crazy? Why?

ME (with an incredulous look on my face): Why? I mean, just look at you. You’re driving me crazy. It should be a crime for you to walk in public. (Pull #2)

HB (breaking out laughing): Where are you from?

ME: From? It doesn’t matter. I want your number. (Pull #3)

HB (laughing): No way. First tell me where you’re from.

ME: Okay, … guess.

HB: Um, China?

ME: Pretty close… (Taking a step closer to her so that we’re inches apart, I say in a quieter tone,) You know, you’re making me really nervous. My hands are all cold and sweaty. Here, feel. (Then, I take her hand in mine). (Pull #4)

HB (laughing): You’re not nervous.

ME (throwing off her hand and looking shocked): Are you calling me a liar? I’ve just confessed my deep dark love for you, and now you’re calling me a liar? That’s it. We’re getting a divorce… But I’m keeping the DVDs. You can have the dog. (Push #1)

HB laughed.

I said nothing and continued looking fake-mad.

HB said (with a smile): “Okay, bye,” and started walking off.

ME (stepping out in front of her again and knowing that she’s just teasing and wants me to chase her): No, wait. You can’t go. I’ll be so sad… I’m going to go home and cry now (and then I slumped my shoulders as if completely sad and depressed). (Pull #5)

HB laughed.

ME (perking up and letting out a sly smile): Okay, give me your number.

HB (laughs): Okay.
We talked a little bit more, then I let her go back to her friends.

I texted her about an hour later, and she texted back, asking what I was doing tomorrow… But that’s for another LR.

Notice the push-pull ratio here. That was 5 pulls to 1 push. The one push came after 4 pulls. In fact, I don’t even think that push was necessary.

This sort of Pull Cocky-Funny can get you super fast makeouts and, as my natural friends have shown, club bathroom sex. For an example of a fast makeout, see the LR that features my first encounter with Natural-MD. There are many other tales to recount about naturals such as him, some of which you can find elsewhere on my site and some of which I might write about in the future. You’ll have to check back for those ☺

Another great example comes from Zan. Among the community old-timers, Zan is probably the best representative of this kind of cocky-funny. If you haven’t read any of his materials yet, check the mASF archives or google, “enlightened seduction.”

There are so many possibilities to choose from, but this conversation of his has stuck in my mind for a while now:

ZAN: Come out with me for a drink tonight. I will pick you up at 7.
HER: I can’t. My boyfriend wouldn’t like it.
ZAN: Oh hey, I understand… let’s make it 8 then.

I never, ever worry about a woman’s resistance to me. If she says she is not interested and leaves, no problem. But if I ever see her again, I immediately go up to her, smile and wink, and pick up right where I left off. As if she had never resisted me in the first place. In other words, her boyfriend objections (or whatever) mean nothing to me.

ZAN: (big smile) Hello, sweetie. Did you miss me?
HER: Hardly.
ZAN: I want to see you. Tell me your number and I’ll remember it.
HER: No! I told you last time I have a boyfriend.
ZAN: Oh, so you’re still seeing Norman?
HER: Uh… his name’s not Norman.
ZAN: (smile, wink) Really? That’s very interesting. I have two bottles of champagne at home.
HER: No thanks.
ZAN: One to drink and one to pour all over your body…
HER: You never give up, do you?
ZAN: Of course not! Wouldn’t be the same if I did, would it?
HER (laughing) No, I suppose not…

I find this whole exchange completely charming and hilarious. Zan pulls her in about seven times. Just about everything he says is a pull.

He’s cocky because he believes that she’d be crazy to turn him down. So her objections don’t even register with him. This is the ideal kind of frame to be operating from when doing Pull Cocky-Funny.

So there you have it. Push Cocky-Funny vs. Pull Cocky-Funny. Both can work. But if you have good fundamentals (body language, tonality, and basic inner game), or you’re good-looking, or you have high perceived social value, and you are interacting with a confident and attractive woman, then you can get faster seductions and make deeper connections by doing more Pull than Push, around 80%-20% is ideal. And keep it all funny ☺

Feedback appreciated!

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.

Busy week, as usual. Can’t wait for the weekend to start!

I’ve put up a bootcamp schedule in the sidebar. I’m already booked up with a stream of one-on-ones from August all the way through November. The two September bootcamps still have space available, so if you’re interested, give me a shout: asianrake “at” asianrake.com

The upcoming The Social Man’s Spark of Attraction bootcamp will feature Christian Hudson, Nick Sparks, and myself, which is a great opportunity for you to get coaching from three of the most elite dating consultants in a single weekend! There are still a couple of spots available, so go here now to find out more info and sign up: http://www.thesocialman.com/programs/spark.php Or, you can email me for more details: asianrake “at” asianrake.com

When you go out this weekend, remember that the number one rule is: HAVE FUN!

… and plan out your logistics beforehand

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.

Quick reminder: The new The Social Man bootcamp pages are up. I’ll be doing the July 11-13 NYC bootcamp, so go check it out: http://www.thesocialman.com/programs/spark.php

Value is Relative and Challenge Screening

“Value is relative.” I first heard this from Mystery in his classic Venusian Arts Handbook. I’m sure you’ve heard this from countless other teachers, puas, gurus, etc., as well.

But, almost everyone I’ve met has no idea why this matters and no idea that this is the secret to getting to the next level of game—getting girls you currently think are waay outside your league without having to manipulate them through any tricky techniques or run any “game.” This is the game of ‘no-game’ (or wu-wei for you fans of Asian philosophy).

It’s important at the outset to distinguish between high-value, high-status, and high-quality. I’m talking mainly about value here and only incidentally will what I say also apply to status and quality, though of course, status and quality are also relative, though status is less so. And of course, when I say “value,” I mean “social value.” I’ve been asked to expand more on high status game. Well, this is one integral component in interacting and attracting “high-status” women.

I must emphasize that you should forget all about what you’ve probably heard about “social value” and what it means. I don’t think anyone else has really elaborated on the secret weapon hidden in the idea that “value is relative.” Read this post with a fresh and open mind.

Note: This is the first article in a three-part series.

I’m going to discuss this on two levels.
1. The INTERNALLY-DRIVEN level: What’s going on in your mind and the correct mindset and frame to have.
2. The EXTERIOR level: What it often looks like from the outside, what someone who is listening to your conversations and watching you interact with people would see and hear.

1. The INTERNALLY-DRIVEN Level

Imagine you’re sitting with your buddies at the bar of a really nice nightclub. You’re just chilling and having a good time. Then in walks the most gorgeous woman you’ve ever seen. Perfect measurements. Silky, smooth skin. Turning heads with every step. Oozing sexuality with every breath. She’s surrounded by an entourage of admiring alpha males, fawning handlers, and devoted fans. What’s her social value?

It’s a trick question.

Some guys in the community think that what determines a hot babe’s (HB) rating isn’t how hot she is. They’re right about this.

What they say, though, is that what matters is how the other people in the venue perceive and act towards her. If she has a lot of admirers, if a lot of guys in the club think she’s the shit, then probably she’s as high as a 9 or even a highly elusive 10. Even if most guys would agree she’s not nearly as physically attractive as the drop-dead gorgeous girl sitting by herself at the bar, her social value, according to them, is determined by how other people view and treat her and thus, the higher value girl can in these cases be the less attractive girl.

Now there is some sense here. This view of what defines a “high value girl” was partly created to help guys determine how they should “game” the girl. If everybody in the venue thinks she’s a 10, then you have to “game her as a 10,” whatever that means. This applies, so they say, even if, after you strip away all the external trappings of fame, like the entourage of bodyguards and handlers, she’s just a 6 in looks compared to that lonely beauty at the bar, whom no one notices but who most guys would agree is a 9 in looks. So this views holds that instead of rating girls based on how your dick feels about them, you should rate girls based on how other people treat them.

Before I point out the shortcomings to this view, I wish to highlight another alternative that has often been neglected.

Not only can we take into account how other people treat the girl, more importantly, we can take into account how she views herself. Why is this even more crucial than how other people view her?

In terms of how she interacts with other people, if she perceives her own social value to be really high, like a 9, and she has a killer strong frame, then, according to this second view, even if no one else in the bar thinks she’s a 9, she will respond to you as if she were a 9, and if you want to get her, you’ll have to take that into account and “game her” like a 9. This is the case when she’s very internally referenced and doesn’t give a shit what other people think of her; she “knows” that she’s a 9, and she will respond to you as a 9.

Imagine the opposite scenario, where everyone in the club thinks she’s a 10, but she herself thinks she’s only a 7. Are you going to “game her” as a 10? If you do, and she truly believes she’s a 7, then, according to this second view, you’ll probably blow yourself out, lacking believability or attainability.

This second view has a lot going for it, too. If you’re going to take into account other people’s evaluations of value, it’s often more important to take into account the girl’s own perception of her value.

While both of these perspectives are good, there is a much better way to determine social value.

YOU are the one and only judge of her social value. This is the strongest position to take.

If “social value” means what is valuable to society, then you can be a society of one. You can be the sole arbiter of what is important and valued. You are your own society. If you believe this strongly enough, and if your frame is tight, then other people will adopt your hierarchy of values. That’s the profound implication of the idea that value is relative.

In your reality, YOU are the only person whose opinion really matters. You can take everyone else’s opinion under advisement to help inform your final evaluation, but the only judgment that really matters is your own.

This is why being internally referenced, rather than externally referenced, is so important. Almost every natural and every great pickup artist I have ever met is at least 80% (if not more) internally referenced. That is, they look primarily to themselves and not to others in making decisions and forming opinions.

Here’s a simple example. Let’s say one guy really values tall girls, maybe because they remind him of runway models, and he thinks runway models are high value. When this guy sees a 6’ tall girl (182 cm), he immediately gives her a high score.

But then imagine another guy, who is into the cute schoolgirl type (note: the girl in the cosplay pic is an adult; apparently, some Japanese guys really go for this look). Maybe this guy is himself tall and doesn’t think being tall is all that big a deal (my experience is that most tall players, like guys 6’3” (190cm) and up, don’t really care that much about how tall she is). Or maybe all his ex-girlfriends were tall, and he doesn’t like girls that remind him of them. Or whatever. The point is that being too tall, like 6’, is actually a turn-off to him. So, he immediately gives the 6’ tall girl a lower than average score.

This is a pretty obvious example. We could run the exact same thought experiment on just about every feature: hair color, skin color, the shape and size of various facial features, bust size, hip size, etc. I’ve heard plenty of guys, especially in China, say they think Jessica Alba looks just okay, whereas I and plenty of other guys think she’s the bomb. That’s because beauty is relative.

But we’re not just talking about physical beauty here.

This really came home to me when I started to get really good at screening and qualifying. See my article on Believability.

My standards went higher when I actively and self-consciously took on a true screening frame.

Not only did my own standards go up, but I noticed they sometimes deviated from my wings’ standards. After all, the better you get, the pickier you get. For instance, while in America, I started looking exclusively for girls who were really into Asian culture. If a girl didn’t at least know the difference between nigiri sushi and sashimi, or if she wasn’t interested in traveling through Asia, I was instantly turned off. We could be friends, but I’m not going to bother investing 3-4 hours into seducing her.

This became really powerful for me because I realized that when I had TRUE STANDARDS, I could hold my own evaluations of women, and they would buy into my frame and would work harder to meet my standards.

Even if all my wings and all the guys in the club and the girl herself thought that she was a 9, if I thought she was just a 6, I would have a much easier time flirting, teasing, and busting on her than my wings and the other guys there. [Note: When you’re really smitten with a girl, it is often best to just drop the pretense and go genuine interest direct. In fact, if you’re going to do genuine interest direct, it is most effective if you are sincerely blown away by her. See my article on Believability for more on this.]

The converse was true too. Occasionally, a girl passed all my screens with flying colors, making me kind of nervous because I found myself really starting to like the girl and getting too attached to the outcome. Then my wing, who doesn’t value the same things in a girl could come along and have an easier time just being cool with her because he was not outcome-dependent and was ready to walk away from her.

I then realized that if your frame is strong, then the only determination of value that makes any difference to how you game is your own. The only thing that matters is how much value YOU give the girl.

Why? Because value is relative.

[And here I go on a slight tangent: This is why I don’t bother to give my girls ratings in my reports. I have rated girls on status relative to a particular environment as I did in my post on how hard it is for foreign guys in Asia (see Top Posts). In those cases, it is important to take into account how much status they have in their environment and to do that, obviously, you have to include other people’s opinions of them.

But to rate a girl on “value”? What does this really say? When I read a rating, like some guy says the girl he just picked up is a HB9, what does it generally tell me?

The only good reason to rate girls in your report is if you’re comparing or differentiating two or more girls in your report. That is, if one girl is a 9 and one is a 7, you want to say that you thought the first girl was two points higher than the second girl, and that’s why you picked the 9 instead of the 7 as your target. Or, if both girls were a 8, you’re telling me either girl could’ve been your target.

More often that not, a girl’s rating in a field report tells me A LOT more about the writer’s insecurities than about the girl herself. Rather than giving girls ratings, it is far better to give a vivid description of the girl and allow us to form our own opinions.]

All right, then, how does this make a difference in your game?

Before I go into a specific technique that you can apply right away, I’ll explain the mindset.

A girl may think she’s the shit. Everyone around her may think she’s the shit. But if you really, truly don’t give a shit about her, then she’s going to feel it, and if she’s emotionally strong and challenges you, you’re going to get a battle of frame control. If you win, which you should since very few people are really conscious of frame control, she’ll start to adopt your evaluation of her. She’ll start to work for your approval. You withhold your approval until she earns it. You escalate only when she’s earned it.

This is the power of screening and qualifying.

Another example: Many of the girls I dated in China were involved in the entertainment industry somehow. They often dropped names, trying to impress me, at least, that’s how I interpreted it. They would say something like, “And here’s a photo of me shooting that commercial with [the Chinese equivalent of George Clooney],” or “Here’s me on set with [the Chinese equivalent of Martin Scorsese],” or “I’ve worked on movies with [a list of famous directors and actors].”

The great thing is that I’m woefully ignorant of Asian pop culture. I know more than most Asian-Americans but that’s not saying much at all. One of my goals when I got back to Beijing last September was to catch up on all the pop culture.

Fortunately, before I really had a chance to do that I quickly realized that my ignorance was working for me. This is closely connected to frame control in relation to social value.

When these hotties were trying to impress me and recover their frame, it totally didn’t work.

They talked about how they worked with some famous person and then saw the blank look on my face and asked, “You know who [some famous actor or director] is, right?”

Me: “Uh, the name sounds familiar. But, no not really.”

HB: “What? Well, how about [some other famous person.] I worked on his last movie.”

Me (with a goofy smile): “Huh? Nope. Don’t know him. And haven’t seen that.”

Since I’m a “foreigner,” my ignorance is somewhat understandable.

Every attempt by her to impose her frame that she is the prize and has higher value totally fell flat with me because I honestly didn’t know who she was talking about. LOL. Eventually, I started to pick up on the names, but I am still to this day woefully ignorant of Asian pop culture compared to the average Asian local or FOB. And I’m now perfectly happy this way.

I kept interpreting their frame-control attempts as bids to impress me (as IOIs from her). And I’d reward them with qualifications as if they had just passed one of my screens.

Me (very casually): “Wow, that’s cool, though, that you’re in all these movies. You should show me one of those some time.”

HB (thinking either, ‘Gosh, I’m going to have to do a lot more to impress this guy,’ or ‘Geez, I’ll show him, and he’ll worship me like all those other guys,’ either of which work in my favor): “Uh, yeah sure.”

Now imagine this situation in the West. Some hot girl says, “My last boyfriend was Jamie Foxx, and he used to drive me around town in his Hummer. Sometimes, though, he’d be lazy, and he’d just have his driver take us around in the Bentley.” For the average guy, it’s going to be hard not to be impressed or intimidated.

But if you can hold your frame, you can totally turn this around. Your frame in this should be that you must be one mutha-fucking sexy dude because you don’t have a Hummer or a Bentley or any thing near the cash and accouterments that Jamie Foxx can provide, but this girl is still really into you; in fact, she’s so into you that she’s giving you her dating resume, trying to impress you.

I had to do this exact reframe when a girl snuck this in on me when I was tired and had my guard down. I knew who the male Chinese TV star was because she had already pointed him out to me in a magazine. And then the next day, she dropped the bomb that he was her ex-BF from a few months ago and that he used to drive her around in his Hummer or had his driver pick her up in either his Bentley or Benz. For their first date, he flew her and her girlfriend to a coastal city to accompany him for a week while he was filming on location. She said all this as if she was expecting me to be jealous. Clever girl

Okay, my recovery wasn’t great by any means. But eventually, I was able to reframe it, and it all worked out in my favor. I was the guy getting unprecedented levels of compliance from a girl who’s used to men, including TV stars, supplicating to her and spending loads of cash and exerting tons of effort. (Note: If you don’t know why compliance is so crucial and don’t understand the value-compliance connection, then read up on Sebastian Drake and Vin DiCarlo’s classic articles on these subjects.)

For instance, she had never purchased a present for a man ever, except her dad. Meanwhile, she was treating me to stuff and putting in all kinds of effort, doing things she had never done for another man before. She verbalized this to me later on.

All this was because I was able to hold my frame that she was trying to impress me and that I am a 10, regardless of material possessions, which are actually irrelevant if your frame is strong. If your frame is strong and you have your fundamentals handled, girls will gladly give up beachside mansions, first-class flights, and chauffered Bentleys just to ride on the back of a bike with YOU.

In conclusion, the social value of a girl can be determined solely by you. If your frame is strong, it really doesn’t matter what other people think her value is, nor does it even matter what she thinks her value is.

Granted, most people will not have the mental and emotional strength or the “inner game” necessary to bend a girl who thinks, along with everyone else in the club, that she’s a 10.

So work on it. Visualizations and affirmations are crucial, as are positive experiences in–field. I’m sure hypnosis would help, though I haven’t tried this route myself.

If you truly believe that you are a 10, and you really do have high standards, then what everyone else thinks is a 10 may really only be a 7 to you. And if your frame is strong, then everyone else, including the girl herself, will begin to view and treat her as a 7 instead of a 10.

Then again, a girl that you judge to be a 10 may seem to your wings and even to herself to be only a 7. And that’s fine, too, as long as you realize that your estimation of her is higher than most people’s. If you sincerely think she’s a 10 and that everyone else is just blind to her “real” value, then you should hold to your evaluation and be internally referenced here. If you do this right, the 7 will totally fall in love with you for seeing the 10 inside her.

So in the end, if your inner game is tight, the only opinion that truly matters is your own.

2. The EXTERIOR Level

There are many ways that this kind of frame control can play out. I will describe one method that I’ve developed to aid me in maintaining my frame with certain types of girls that I value more highly than most.

I call it Challenge Screening.

I’ve used it to good effect on models, actresses, dancers, stewardesses, musicians, visual artists, and other professionals.

While I’ve now learned this technique well enough that it comes naturally and relatively effortlessly, at the beginning, I had to apply a lot of mental focus to trick my mind into throwing off the limiting beliefs that came from being externally referenced.

Basically, Challenge Screening is different from screening and qualifying in that it’s a more intense application of profession-specific screening delivered in a more serious, matter-of-fact tone. The qualification (reward) is reserved until her bitch shield drops.

You should apply Challenge Screening when you feel intimidated by a girl’s social standing and feel that it is making her arrogant or snobby and hence, that it is at the foundation of the bitch shield she is putting up between you and her.

A key component here is your sub-communication, which is hard to describe in words. If you really don’t believe in your frame, then it won’t matter what you say. She’ll see right through you. That’s why the inner game is so crucial. But I’ll assume that you’re well on your way to handling the mindset and beliefs aspect of it.

This technique is ideal if you’re intimidated by girls of a certain type, for example, models, actresses, go-go dancers, strippers, or whatever.

It requires that you know something about the industry that intimidates or impresses you.

Think for a moment about an industry or field that you know a lot about. For me, that’s jazz. A lot of people think they know something about jazz. But my experience is that the vast majority of them really have no clue what they’re talking about, and I can find this out just by asking a few simple questions. When I find the rare jazz aficionado who does know what he’s talking about, I get quite excited and become much more invested in the conversation. This is the dynamic you’re after.

A girl says she’s a model. Your reality is: Well, you’ve dated models. You’ve had models as your best friends. You know the industry. So you’re going to see how much of a model she really is, if she knows what she’s talking about, and if she’s worth your time. That’s the frame.

Keep in mind that if your frame and inner game are strong, you won’t have to consciously employ this technique. It’ll just come naturally as a result of your high standards and social calibration.

The best way to illustrate this is to give you a taste of dialogue.

Here’s Challenge Screening applied to a fashion model.

About a minute into the interaction, HBModel says in a snobby tone: “I’m a model,” expecting you to be intimidated.

Some guys, especially back in the heydey of Mystery Method, might have said, “Oh, really? A hand model?” But the correct frame here is that she is trying to impress you. So that neg would take the interaction backwards, punishing her for her good behavior (trying to impress you). Instead, you should reward the “IOI” with further interest.

Me: “Yeah, you’ve got a great look (said casually, but with genuine appreciation). My ex-girlfriend worked with Elite in Hong Kong (again said casually). Do you do mostly print or runway?”

HB (looking shocked that you’re not worshiping her yet): “I do a bit of both… (pause; hold the tension)… but mainly print these days.”

Me (nodding with approval): “Hmm… photographic is very competitive these days.”

HB (smiling): “Yeah, I just finished an all day shoot. I’ve been on my feet the whole day.”

Me (smiling back): “You need a drink girl! Cheers to that!”

At this point, Challenge Screening is over. The model has let her guard down. You’ve shown competence over her world and shown that you are not intimidated in the least by her occupation or beauty. In fact, you are in a position to evaluate and approve of her. She sees you as the dominant person in the interaction. You can proceed as normal.

What if she continues the bitch shield? Then, continue with challenge screening.

I will give you an extreme example. This only happened to me once. I use this to demonstrate how far you can take it.

This happened with a drop dead gorgeous, very tall, tanned, and toned Chinese model with perfect curves, dreamy almond eyes, and sporting black, skin-tight spandex tights and a thin, tight black sweater showing off her perky 34 Cs.
It started the same:
About a minute into the interaction, HBModel says in a snobby tone: “I’m a model.”

Me: “Yeah, you’ve got a great look (said casually, but with genuine appreciation). My ex-girlfriend worked with Elite in Hong Kong (again said casually). Do you do mostly print or runway?”

HB (looking shocked that you’re not worshiping her yet): “I do both… I just did a shoot today.”

Me (nodding with approval): “Hmm… photographic is very competitive these days.”

Here’s where it differed:
HB nods, but doesn’t say anything. She looks a little bored.

Me: “Are you exclusive or freelance?”

HB (looking a little surprised that I asked this): “Uh, I’m with [well-known international agency].”

Me: “Do you do much testing?”

HB: “Uh, no not much any more.”

Me: “Good for you. So you must have done some editorial then.”

HB (starting to turn to face me more): “Yes, I just did one last week for [some foreign fashion magazine that I forget now].”

Me: “Nice. Those are really prestigious.”

HB: “Thanks.” Then silence, but she kept looking at me.

Me: “How many go-sees are you getting in an average week?”

HB: “Go-sees? A lot lately. Usually, about two or three.”

Me (light reward kino on the arm): “Nice. Your agency booker must really like you.”

HB (turning completely to me and smiling): “Thanks.”

Me: “Are you thinking about moving into acting?”

HB: “OMG, how did you know? I had a part in that Feng Xiaogang movie (big name Chinese director), [name of a fairly recent movie]! We were on location for months! Here, look at these pictures.” She then took out her camera and started to show me amazing shots of a remote region of western China.

Challenge Screening over.

I got this question train from Leil Lowndes’s How to Talk to Anyone About Anything. An awesome book I highly recommend.

To make it easier for you to see what I was doing, here’s the bare bones question train for models. I use this as kind of a cheat sheet.

Fashion Models
“Yes, you have a great look.”
1. Do you do mostly print or runway?
a. Print→Photographic or print is very competitive.
b. Runway→It takes talent to twirl on runways.
c. Showroom→”What are your special tricks for staying cheerful during long hours showing clothes to buyers?”

2. Are you exclusive or freelance?
a. Exclusive→”Which agency are you signed with?”

3. Do you do much testing?
a. For wannabes and newer models

4. Have you done any editorial?
a. Editorial→Most prestigious fashion shoots
b. Catalog or advertising→What pays the bills

5. How many go-sees/look-sees/castings do you have in an average week?
a. Low→Express admiration that she doesn’t have to go running around to get work.
b. High→Express admiration that her agency booker must really like her.

6. Do you plan to move into acting?

7. Do you have your head shot or composite with you?
a. “Nice commercial shot, but it doesn’t capture your tremendous presence.”

Now obviously, you shouldn’t just shoot these questions out one after the other. Weave them into the conversation in a natural way. Ask the first question, listen to her response, and respond to that. Don’t just ask the next question in a mechanical manner. Only if she gives you silence or a one-word answer should you jump directly into the next question. You want to avoid sounding like an interviewer or setting off a confrontational vibe. This is you screening her to see if she’s really “all that.”

Remember that this is just what it looks like from the outside. You don’t have to use the exact questions. If your frame is right, and you know something about the industry, you’ll come up with the right questions naturally. These questions are just suggestions to get you started.

If you use these questions, you will very likely not have to go past question three. Just showing a little dominance over their “world” is enough.

It’s also good to mention a personal connection. I like to mention that my ex-girlfriend was with Elite in Hong Kong, or that my current girlfriend is a fashion model, or that I’ve sworn off dating models.

Another favorite industry of mine has become stewardesses or “flight attendants” (the PC term).

My personal connections are a couple of ex-lovers of mine. I might even show her photos of my ex-lovers in their Singapore Airlines uniforms. That always get nods of approval.

Here is my cheat sheet for the bare bones question train for stewardesses.

Flight Attendants
1. Who do you fly for?
2. Do you fly international or domestic?
3. What’s your favorite layover?
4. Do you bid for routes?
a. Are you senior enough to get the routes you want?
5. What kind of travel privileges do you get?

I usually don’t go past question three. I got these from Lowndes’s book as well.

Here are a couple more of my cheat sheets.

Musicians
1. What instrument do you play?
2. Are you working on anything now?
3. Do you do any studio work? Do you play in clubs?
4. Are you gigging now? Do you have a steady gig?
5. Do you prefer playing live or in the studio?
6. Are you signed to a recording contract?
a. How did your record chart? How many units did it do?
7. Do you think a recording artist can do better on a major label or an indie?
8. What artist influenced you when you were starting out?
9. Who are the outstanding makers of your instruments?
10. In what direction are you taking your music now?

Dancers
1. What kind of dancing do you do?
2. Are you performing now?
3. Are you in a company?
4. When is your season?
5. What are you performing this season?
6. Have had you had the opportunity to do any work as a soloist or a principal?
7. Do you get most of your work through auditions or recommendations?

If you know Lowndes’s book, you’ll recognize my debts.

I’m a bit of a musician myself, so I can go into a lot more depth for musicians depending on the genre of music they do. For dancers, I usually don’t get past question three.

The whole point of Challenge Screening is to help you assert your frame. This is most obvious with models and actresses, but I have met recording artists and high-level professional dancers who think they’re all the shit, too.

Remember that this is only for girls who think their social value is much higher than yours and hence, try to use their occupation (pop star or famous dancer) as a bitch shield to intimidate you. You just need to show you’re not intimidated and that you can connect with her and show dominance over this part of her world as well.

I’m giving out my cheat sheets here, so you better appreciate it I’m keeping my cheat sheet for actresses to myself, as that’s proven especially productive for me

I encourage you to develop your own cheat sheets for whatever field or industry you’re interested in.

Ideally, you will not need to memorize or consciously apply any techniques. If your frame is strong, then other people will be sucked into your reality and will naturally adopt your value hierarchies. That’s ultimately what you’re aiming for. Techniques like Challenge Screening are simply provisional tools to help you in the process of achieving that stage.

Feedback appreciated ☺

The next installment in this series will be on how Reality is Subjective and why this is important.

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.

Touched down in Toronto a few days ago, completely jet-lagged. It’s always harder going east for some reason. My flight out of Beijing was delayed because of a lightning storm, so I had another night of bliss and late night Taiwanese desserts with my main girl in Beijing before heading back to the airport the next morning. As a sidenote, the new Beijing Airport Terminal 3, the largest in the world, boasts a beautiful and dramatic design. I just wish they would turn up the air-conditioning as it could get pretty humid in there.

The final week in Beijing was all a blur. But I made sure I went out with a bang (or several, hehe)! To my friends back in the northern capital, I miss ya already.

I’m almost finished writing a long post on value, which should be up very soon.

In the meantime, I wanted to let you know that the new bootcamp pages for The Social Man are almost complete. You can view them here: http://www.thesocialman.com/programs/spark.php

Just a reminder that I’ll be instructing on the July 11-13 bootcamp in New York City. Nick Sparks is also joining us. So you’ll get three instructors–me, Christian Hudson, and Nick Sparks–teaching you on this program! Three for the price of one! This collaboration between all three of us probably won’t happen again for several months or maybe even a whole year, so this is your chance to get in on it.

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.

I’m partnering with Christian Hudson to teach a bootcamp in New York City on July 11-13. I usually only have time to do one group bootcamp a month, so this is your chance to train with me this July. Plus, you’ll get to have Christian Hudson, the man who started me on this whole journey, personally diagnose and fix your sticking points! Double Deal! Btw, it’s going to be really hot this summer, and hot girls will be stripping to cool down… (okay, I’m just looking for an excuse to put up another pic).

The Social Man will be putting out a new website for the summer bootcamps very soon, but for now you can check out the schedule at the bottom of the new The Social Man page. Scroll down to the bottom. Refreshingly, and with about zero promotion, we’ve already had quite a few signups for several of the cities, including the NYC bootcamp:

www.thesocialman.com/index-new.php

Christian wanted me to emphasize that this site is in BETA! And it looks like crap in IE6 (Internet Explorer 6). But because you’re on the inside, I wanted to share it with you sooner than later.

You’ll also notice that the rest of the site is being built out right now - the only section that is built out is our profiles, plus the THREE HOURS of pre-bootcamp seminar that Christian and Nick generously put together and are offering to you FREE just by entering your email! This is an amazingly magnanimous move on their part. And trust me, the videos are an AWESOME introduction to becoming better with women and people in general.

You can sign up for a bootcamp by simply contacting me at asianrake “at” asianrake.com or mail “at” thesocialman.com You can also sign up through the original www.thesocialman.com website.

EDIT: The new bootcamp page is up and running! Check it out here: http://www.thesocialman.com/programs/spark.php

If you sign up for a bootcamp, send me an email at asianrake “at” asianrake.com to set up your complimentary initial phone consultation!

Also, after repeatedly answering many questions about my personal background and history over email, I decided I might as well save some time and put it up for y’all to see. So I’ve filled in the About Me page with A LOT more details. You can also find a version of this autobiographical article on my The Social Man bio.

Now back to packing!

Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.